


ashes to ashes (dust to dust)

by writerforlife



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), buckle up kiddos we're going for an angsty ride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 09:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16216532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerforlife/pseuds/writerforlife
Summary: Peter's thoughts before he turns to dust become complicated.





	ashes to ashes (dust to dust)

****Thanos slides the knife between Tony’s ribs easily.

Peter can’t distinguish individual thoughts from the white-hot rush of emotion that floods his brain. Can’t even scream. He kneels, digging his hands into Titan’s orange dirt, as Thanos cradles Tony’s head and eases him to the ground. Blood dribbles from his mouth, staining his mouth red and catching in his beard.

Peter stumbles to his feet.

No.

Not Tony.

But Strange is trading the time stone, Strange is giving in to Thanos—he thought that was the biggest no-no of the day, besides stowing away—Strange is saving Tony’s life.

After Thanos is gone, Peter rushes to Tony and kneels by him.

“Mr. Stark,” he whispers.

Tony manages a weak smile. “Never better.”

“I didn’t ask.”

“You were going to.”

Peter pulls him to his feet and tries to ignore the way he tries to mask a pained grunt. Blood’s still leaking from the wound, despite the nanites, and the remnants of his armor are ravaged. He needs a whole team of doctors, but that would mean having a way off the planet. How serious had Tony been

He’s thinking about making a flight home in the Iron Man armor when people start to turn to dust. His jaw drops. What. The. _Fuck._ Is this happening everywhere? He wildly turns to Mr. Stark, who seems to be solid. Good. His thoughts turn to May, to Ned and MJ, to everyone else in his school, to…

Oh.

His body is on fire.

Something’s _tearing_ at him. He can feel every molecule in his body straining, and he _knows_ , he _saw_ , he saw what happened to the others, and he wants…

… _to be inside and work on his newest project, but Tony Stark’s sitting in his apartment next to May, somehow eating her walnut-date loaf, a feat Peter won’t try to follow up. Tony’s sitting on his bed, inviting him to Germany, telling him that he…_

… doesn’t want to die, not like this, not so far away from May and Ned and MJ, and he thinks, illogically, that he has a paper due next week that was supposed to boost his history grade. He can’t die with a C in history, he can’t...

… _control the gaping desperation in his heart as Tony takes the suit away, his eyes flashing but his hands trembling. Peter had thought it was anger, but…_

… He can’t go like this. Not like this. Not yet. He has to fight. Surely he can fight this off. He stumbles forward, over the ashes, and pitches into Tony’s arms. He’d hugged Tony before, but this is different this is, like…

_After Germany. Peter thought it was a hug. After a mission gone wrong, months after homecoming, after Peter had nearly broken both legs and was bloodied, Tony had hugged him, and Peter had allowed himself to break down, but this is.._

… a fight, this is a fight, a battle of wills, an answer to a question posed.

_“Do you really think your life flashes before your eyes before you die?” Peter asks Tony one night in the lab._

_Tony had shrugged. “Didn’t see anything in Afghanistan. Hadn’t done much worth of a quick tour of my life, though.”_

_Peter had thought about Tony, really considered the legend of Tony Stark, from Afghanistan and the cave to New York and the wormhole to here, and how he fit into it. Of course he’d done amazing things. Didn’t he think they were worth anything, did he actually think…_

… that he could live, he could beat this? He clings to Tony, he apologizes, he wishes for more time, he wishes he could ask…

_“Then what happens?”_

_Tony shrugs. “Death takes over. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. All that good stuff. Unless you’re Cap. Then you freeze. Most of the time, you’re gone, and that’s that. That’s the once chance you get_ …

To say something to Tony. He has one chance to say something to Tony. He reaches for Tony’s head, but his hands crumbles like an old newspaper when the wind hits it. White hot pain sizzles through his body, breaking him apart into thousands of pieces; he wants to tell Tony that it’ll be okay (he wants Tony to tell him that he’ll survive, but that’s a little out of the question, now). He’s…

_… smiling with abandon, for once. Peter just finished a new robot. It’s padding around his and May’s apartment; Tony’s sitting at the dinner table making jokes about its walk, but something unrecognizable shines in his eyes, something reminiscent of the way Ben used to look at him, and he wishes…_

That Tony would smile. _Smile_ , he wants to say. It was okay. There was always the chance of this happening. It wasn’t Tony’s fault.

_It isn’t your fault._

_It isn’t your fault._

_It isn’t your fault._

Peter hangs onto the thought, hoping Tony can somehow hear it, until he fades.


End file.
